One of the least "wants of repetition" experiences I have had is moving. I have completed this process a couple of times in my life prior to my recent experience a few days ago, with the difference being the amounts to be moved. 

I spent the last 6 years in a four-bedroom, two-bathroom house. It was great for space and extremely economical, considering the city and similar rents. However, what I did not realize in the six years I had spent in this house is that...things hide.

That is the only logical explanatory excuse I have for having found so many inanimate objects hidden in places I swear I did not know existed.

But, that is only a small portion of the surprises in this moving adventure.

It all began a few weeks ago. I was suddenly faced with a situation where I had to move and move quickly. To do so on such notice, owning cats, children and not having a license to drive did not make for a fun experience. Most apartments and houses in this particular city prefer no pets, prefer single working persons, etc. The search was tiresome, frustrating and almost pointless on certain days. I was told so many various things, I was beginning to feel discriminated against just for wanting to move. That’s not a hard feeling considering a few people refused to even show me an apartment once they realized I had a child. I recall many days of anger at the ignorance of renters. I cursed often. Suffice it to say, I have learned to not like the overall concept of renting.

But, that’s leading you off the adventure, so lets get back to where I was.

I pondered during days of frustration whether I should move a bit farther out than where I had initially begun looking, and decided one day to look outside the city borders.

I took a little trip out to see this three-bedroom townhouse that accepts pets and children and was impressed with the fact that at least it was a house; besides, my time was running out.  I had already given my current landlord notice and couldn’t afford to be choosy.

I followed the superintendent of this condominium townhouse back to her house to find out what information was required of myself. She explained that I would need only the top "three" things in the list of five that I would have to return within two days:

1. Letter of employment
2. Bank information
3. Certified check or money order for first and last months' rent.

I agreed and told this woman that I would return with all three.

Two days later, I returned with the three requirements on the list as requested only to be told by this woman that the house was already rented. I was disappointed, although not because I did not get this place, but because this would return me to square one in the tenant placement field.

A day later, another woman (who was also a superintendent) called me up to tell me that the people who were going to take this house backed out and if I was still interested to come out the next day and sign some papers.

The following day, I headed to her house. We sat in her little office in the basement and she stated that she would need my current landlord's information and would then be able to send my info to the head office for clearance. As I filled out this landlord information, she was sifting through the folder containing my bank info, etc. She stopped, looked at me, and asked where my application was. What application? I asked. She explained that it is required before sending the information and should have been filled out firsthand. I had no knowledge of this requirement and was not told of this by the other woman. She explained that it is policy to have the application filled out first and all other information would follow as the application is to be faxed before anything else. No matter, she explained, I will do it all at once and they will just have to accept it.

She sent it in and I received my reply within two days: My application was processed and approved.

I began packing (watch carefully for hidden objects) and what a chore that is. The thought alone exhausted me. How does one begin packing up six years? It isn’t easy, but it can be done. I began with the sanitation method: I began throwing things out. I threw out things I hadn’t used; I threw out things I swear I had never purchased; I threw out things with no knowledge of how they got from A to Z. I opened closets and drawers and cupboards and with each one I opened, I found more things: hidden---hiding from the world. 

I had letters, photos, things I could not describe here in words; trinkets of memories and other such glorified saviors of time tucked away in little spaces that I had forgotten all about. I spent every waking moment of free time packing, and when I was unable to be there physically, my mind was there for me. Once my cleansing process was complete, I began to organize and pack each room up into their marked boxes accordingly. It is a horrible process. 

Allow me to interject with a note. I believe I have forgotten to mention that during this packing process, I was living at my mother's. I had moved a few necessities there with me and spent most of my days running back and forth between my house and her apartment.

A few days before moving, I was to meet my current landlord of six years at the house to speak on a few issues that needed clarifying before I disappeared. Oh, that was fun.

My landlord was kind enough to share with me his beliefs. Now, this is a man who has only raised my rent once in six years and that’s "after" he asked me if that was OK. This is a man who changed, fixed and repaired anything that needed doing, despite my having to sometimes whine for weeks on end to get it done. I always looked at this way:

1. He never made enough from me to pay the mortgage but didn’t have to worry about constant re-renting.
2. I looked after the house, increased the value of his asset and took care of the landscaping.

It was a good deal. It worked out well.

But, I was to find out why.

The Landlord and I sat down in the backyard to discuss the finalities of my departure, at which time he offered this proposal: That I leave with him that evening, go to Las Vegas, marry him and return in two weeks to live in his nice big house with maid service and all.

I laughed my head off. This was my landlord! This was the man who was nice, who understood humor, who was just kind and barely came near the house, with the exception of rent day.

I stopped laughing when I realized he was serious and suggested he sober up. I didn’t know what to say. This was a very awkward conversation. Suffice it to say, I did not leave this conversation heading for Las Vegas.

I continued my days of packing until September 1st rolled around. Finally, I could move. I was tired of packing, tired of looking at boxes, tired of suddenly needing something but couldn’t find it in the box I was certain it was in.

The moving process took three days, which is quite amazing since I really don’t own much. I did discover though, that unpacking is so much worse than packing. At least with packing, you are just removing it from its place and putting it in a marked box. With unpacking, I remove an object from a box and have to find the right place, enough space, and which room it actually goes in. It’s a much longer process.

By the second day of unpacking, the superintendent whom I met the second time around after seeing this house, came to my door.

She asked why I had not yet submitted my void cheque or my house insurance forms.

Ummmm...What? I enquired.

She explained that these two were also on the list and should have been done prior to receiving the keys. I almost wanted to scream. Boy, I honestly could have. 

It took a few days for me to do the above. It really was a bit of running around but I did bring her back her "requirements."

I went back to unpacking. I am still unpacking. Some boxes, I just looked at and decided they "need" to go in the basement unopened because I just dont care what's in them. I am tired of boxes.

I was excited though with the prospect of having my phone line hooked up on the day I moved in. It was all set and scheduled. I was to wait at the house between 12pm and 5pm. I had my new phone number in hand and I waited and I waited and I waited and I waited.

No one showed up. When I did finally reach someone via cell phone, I was told that the order was not entered in correctly and therefore, no one was scheduled on their end for this installation on this day . The next day they had available would be on the Wednesday.

They did show up on the Wednesday.

So, here I am on the 7th of September, sitting back at my computer on a dialup. Yes, I have even lost my DSL. Apparently, I live too far now from a service station. Figures. Oh well, there are worse things in life.

One of those worse things is....no hot water.

That has got to be the worst thing to deal with. Lord, I would never have survived as a pioneer. 

So, why don’t I have hot water?

Well, apparently the first superintendent ( you recall her, she is the one who neglected to let me fill out an application) has not yet had time to fax the lease to the gas company yet. I know, why not speak with the other superintendent? She is on vacation for another week and a half. I am stuck with this nimrod until the other returns; I don’t foresee any hot water any time soon. It’s just a feeling.

I could go over her head---way over. I could, but I will give her 24 hours to fax. That’s all I am giving her. I don’t like her and I know she does not like me but I will give her the requested 24 hours, despite the fact that it's seven days late already. I will give her that.

Ok, so truly here I am in a three-bedroom townhouse with wood floors, full basement, fair sized yard and new neighbors.

I have a mother who is lonely without me and wishes to move into my house. I have a sister who wishes to sell her house and move in with me until she purchases a new one. Boy, you get a townhouse and everyone wants to move in ;)

Ok, so truly here I am in a three-bedroom townhouse, with wood floors, full basement, fair sized yard and new neighbors.

I don't know how well I am going to like it here but I do know one thing...I really do not wish to move again anytime soon, at least not without hiring someone to do all the manual labor for me; that and of course, the trepid fear of what the next moving adventure might have in store for me ;)

I do have to say, it has been a very interesting few weeks and hopefully all the craziness will have been worth it in time.

So, there you go. Moving---it's just not as simple as the syllables make it sound.