Eye On CameraWare -- headline

Written by: Alynna

CORRECTION: In Part I of our series on cyber-stalking, we mistakenly stated that there have been no murders as a result of cyber-stalking. In actuality, there has been one cyber-stalking-related murder reported. We apologize for our mistake.

Interviewing criminals, and noting their common personality traits and behaviors, helps law enforcement agents predict and prevent crimes before they are committed. After reading this article, you'll be able to do this, too!

Specifically, you will learn to recognize the character elements of cyber-stalking.We will first describe common personality and relationship types. Then we will apply these to different types of obsessive behaviors. Armed with information about obsessive behavior, we will then turn our attention to online relationships and learn how to recognize the warning signs of a potentially risky friendship.

"Personality Profile of Offender" (Mullen et al. 1999) identified five personality profiles of stalkers based on motivations and context.

These are:

Rejected: Stalking behavior begins after the target breaks off the relationship with the offender. The behavior is a mixture of reconciliation and revenge.

Intimacy Seekers: The offender continues to pursue an intimate relationship with the target even though the attentions are ignored or rejected.

Incompetent: The offender lacks social skills and is usually of lower intellect. They believe they are entitled to have a partner but are primarily clueless as to how to make that happen. Generally speaking, the offenders only have a mild sexual attraction the target.

Resentful: The goal of the offender is to frighten the target. The offender usually has feelings of anger and wants revenge.

Predatory: The offender enjoys the thrill of the hunt. Power and control are the motivation. The offender usually finds out all he can about the target from research and observance. They are mostly likely of all the groups to have a history of criminal sexual offenses.

And we will add one more:

False Victimization Syndrome: This group seems oddly pervasive in the female population of large Internet communities. They exhibit common characteristics: a demand for attention; emotions that are are vague and change rapidly. The alleged assaults are usually in private and no concrete details can be given. The offender repeatedly claims he or she is being stalked but refuses to follow through and give hard evidence. The intention is to gain attention by entering the complaint to community leaders or to resurrect a failed relationship by complaining to a former lover.

Possessing these personality traits does not make one a stalker. We can all find a little bit of ourselves in each of the descriptions above. Chances are good that, if people with these personality traits engage only in healthy relationships, they will never become stalkers.

There are three types of relationships that humans engage in:

Intimates: Our family, friends, spouses, and children.
Associates: Our co-workers, a friend of a friend, acquaintances.
Strangers: Everyone else.

A stalker can take on any of these roles. Let's apply our three types of relationships to the cyber-stalker:

Intimate: The target and the offender have had some kind of online relationship, whether it had been romantic involvement or just friendship. Online, there are usually a few months of intimacy before the relationship decays. The target has usually volunteered all the information the stalker needs for harassment, such as phone number or real name.

Associate: The aggressor and the target have had only minimal personal contact, perhaps sharing a chatroom together. Information is gathered both by information volunteered publicly and by investigation.

Stranger: The target has little or no knowledge of who the offender is. Information is gathered mainly by investigation. These types of stalking relationships are purely predatory, and the offenders usually have prior psychiatric problems. They find their targets through pic sites, chatrooms, and bulletin boards. In fact, they find their targets just about anywhere!

Of course, simply having an odd personality trait and a few friendships is not a crime. Let's apply the personality traits and the relationship types to the possible obsessive behaviors that can lead to full-blown stalking:

Simple Obsession -- The offender and the target have had either an Intimate or an Associate relationship. The stalking behavior begins after the relationship has gone sour, either when the target cuts off the relationship or the offender perceives some sort of mistreatment. The offender begins stalking to either salvage the relationship or to gain revenge over being jilted. The behavior is a mixture of reconciliation and revenge; there is often a notable cycle of apology-then-punishment. The
common personality profiles are Rejected, Intimacy Seekers, and Incompetent.

Delusional Stalker (Erotomania) -- The targets are sometimes a high-profile individual, usually higher in social standing than the offender. The offender's delusion is that there is already mutual love between the offender and the target, but the relationship type is really Associate or Stranger. Generally the motive is love, rather than sexual desire. The common personality profiles are Intimacy Seekers, Incompetent, Predatory, and sometimes False Victimization Syndrome.

Love Obsessive -- Closely related to Erotomania, except the offender believes the love *would* be mutual if only the offender can catch the attention of the target. The target is usually known through the media and usually has a high profile life. (A very good offline example is John Hinkley, who attempted to catch the attention of actress Jodie Foster by shooting Ronald Reagan.) The common personality profiles are Intimacy Seekers, Incompetent, Predatory, and sometimes False Victimization Syndrome.

Vengeful Stalker -- The individuals feel the target has harmed them in some way, and the stalking behavior begins out of anger and an attempt to strike back. The goal of the offender is to frighten the target. Resentful personalities are most common.

We now have a relatively complete picture of an obsessive personality that is beginning to exhibit stalking behavior. It is easy to recognize them on paper, and a snap to identify them after a crime has been committed. The real trick is to know when a relationship is dying and when to jump ship.

Warning Signs of a Decaying Relationship

It is said that "pain is a warning of something wrong." If you dread turning the computer on for fear of encountering a certain person, that is a clear warning that a relationship is going badly. In reality, not all relationships work out. The offended party is hurt but usually gets over it. A person possessing personality traits conducive to stalking, coupled with a decaying relationship, may take the breakup to extremes. It is a pattern of behavior that is clearly recognizable if the warning signs are paid attention to.

Always keep in mind that relationships and the Internet are supposed to be tools for happiness. If they make you unhappy, they are dysfunctional.

Time Control: An obsessive person will require that you are always accountable for your time. First they will question you if they haven't seen you in a few days. Then they require that you contact them every day. Soon they become upset if you reply to others before replying to them. If left unchecked, they begin to control all of your online time until it begins to affect your offline time. Daily life becomes a white-knuckled panic to achieve the impossible deadlines.

Friends: As the Obsessed individual takes more of the target's time, the target has less time for other friends. The few remaining close friends will irritate the stalker and the obsessed person will often lash out savagely against these friends.

Tone of Conversation: The offender will take on an increasingly dominant, demanding tone, while the target will become more submissive. Positive, happy conversations cease to exist altogether and are replaced almost entirely with one-sided arguments.

Imagined Injustices: The target gets in trouble for innocent acts, such as being late to get online, or talking to an old friend. Normal behaviors become "crimes", and the offender doles out punishments with a vengeance.

Conditions: The relationship becomes a series of If/Then reactions: the offender says "If you do this, then I will do that". The Ifs become increasingly impossible to perform, causing the target to commit more "crimes", causing the offender to become angrier, which causes more If/Then.

Offline Life: This is the crisis stage of obsession and the prelude to an actual stalking situation. The target begins to change their offline daily routines to fit the demands of the stalker. In extreme cases, the target's entire life will change, affecting family and work.

The next article in this series will look at what happens when obsessive behavior turns to actual stalking.